All in a bed
by ThisIsNotPG13
Summary: What happens when we put all the main HoN characters in a bed? read this to find out... (rated M for later chapters)
1. Chapter 1

**The characters in this story are not mine (apart from Bob), they were made up by P.C and Kristen Cast.**

In this story, we will see what happens when all the main characters from HoN get together in one bed…o_O

Bob: Welcome to the greatest sleepover of all time! Mwahahaha…

Kalona: well this should be interesting, shouldn't it, A-ya

Zoey: I am not A-ya!

Stark: Yeah, back off

Kalona: I was not referring to you, I was talking to my A-ya.

A-ya: Ha! He likes me more! Don't you, babe?

Z: I'm pretty glad she's DEAD. Aren't you, stark?

Stark: oh yes

A-ya: meanies.

Kalona: It is your turn to back off, you two.

Jack: why do your sentences always sound longer?

Damien: JACK!

Jack: DAMIEN! – snog-

Aphrodite: Gay.

Jack/Damien: mhm.

Bob: Anyway, you're here all day, so this should be interest-ing…..

A-ya: Im leaving

Bob: you can not!

Darius: she just did.

Aphrodite: yep, she sure did

Bob: WUH! Oh never mind, lets just carry on with our little experiment. If nothing exciting happens then I'll be asking my friends to chose partners. My friends are very…dirty. Oh and don't worry Zoey, there will be no lesbionicness for you.

Z: lesbionicness? Ok…

Bob: yessss

Stevie Rae: Hey Ya'll…wuh….why are we in a bed together?

Rephaim: now you wake up! We don't actually know but Bob here is going to pair us up if nothing exciting happens.

Erobus: I vote zoey and kalona have sex

Nyx: ahaha I love you Erobus

Z: NO! NO! NO! NO.

Kalona: hmm…I think it sounds quite like fun.

Stark: You need to get a new idea of fun, mate.

Kalona: Quiet, impudent boy

Damien: He has made no act of impudence.

Kalona: he has! I do not make mistakes!

Nyx: Oh really?

Kalona: erm….

Erobus: I thought so.

Jack: do you two share a brain or something?

Nyx/Erobus: no…

Bob: LOL

John lennon: HOW DID I GET ERE?

Bob: oops…-sends john away-

Erik: Hi babes

Bob: Erik, no one likes you.


	2. Chapter 2

CONTINUED…

Erik: of course you do

Aphrodite: No….we don't so bugger off

Erik: no

Z: Erik aren't you supposed to be tracking down and ruining the lives of innocent children?

Erik: Yes…

Aphrodite: so go

Erik: cant

Bob: yes you can. GO.

_Erik leaves through a secret portal in the bed, but it closes up before anyone else sees it._

Bob: he's gone

Twins: yay

Erin: Im so glad he is finally

Shaunee: gone.

Darius: freaky

George W. Bush: uhm…uh im in a bed

Bob: OOPS I seem to be glitching a lot today…first john lennon, now you… just go mr. ex-president.

George: K

Bob: okay nothing has happened for a while now soo… we have decided to play truth or dare with you. Just 3 rounds. Last 3 to kneel on the bed lose.

-Everyone but Shaunee, Erin and Aphrodite make it in time-

Shaunee/Erin: ugh

Aphrodite: double ugh

Bob: mwahahaha. Your faults for being so girly. Ok first truth goes to…Aphrodite: How many men/boys have you slept with?

Aphrodite:..27….

Everyone other then Nyx, Erobus, Kalona and Darius: SLUT/SLAG/BITCH/EW

Bob: LOL okay, the dare goes to both twins: get in your undies

Twins: uh…while these are looking?

Bob: yes

Twins: kay….

Bob: wait! This just in: everyone get in your underwear . EVERYONE. NOW.

-everyone undresses-

Z(who is next to Kalona): Kalona, where is your UNDERWEAR.?  
>Kalona: I don't wear any.<p>

Z: ugh…

Stark: just don't try anything.

Kalona: Oh, I will if Bob will allow it.

Bob: only when I tell you. Btw I am a she

Shaunee: A

Erin: She?

Bob: yes….freaks

Twins: we're used to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Cont.

Bob: soo…

Twins: …

Bob: -phone: you have one new message- oo…ok guys we are going to play spin the bottle…

Neferet: O god…

Bob: NEFERET! You have arrived just in time to play spin the bottle!

Neferet: yay?

Kalona: get this biatch away from me

Neferet: humph

Stevie Rae: Neferet did you bring any darkness with you? Cos that would be cheatin'.

Neferet: no, I was not allowed to.

Nyx: I am glad of that.

Erik: lets play

Bob: WHY are you back, man-whore?

Erik: I like spin the bottle

Aphrodite: of course you do, babe.

Bob: anyway. Let's play. …

-everyone gets on the small floor space near the bed, in a circle-

Bob: first to spin is… Rep-haim!

Rephaim: its pronounced Rephaim

Bob: that's what I just said. Rep haim

Rephaim: that's not my name

Bob: it is now. Spin the freaking bottle.

-rephaim spins and it points to Zoey and erobus-

Nyx: *awkward*

-Z and erobus kiss quickly and sit back down-

Bob: awkward turtle…Okay next spinner is… Erin

Erin: okay… can twin spin with me?

Shaunee: yes, can i?

Bob: say pretty please

Twins: pretty please?

Bob: no

Twins: wuh?

Bob: I just wanted you to say that. Now get on with it, Erin only.

-Erin spins and the bottle points at Aphrodite and Erik-

Erik: ooh

-They kiss…still kissing…still kissing….-

Bob: wow….that's enough now.

-still kissing-

Bob: I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH.

Aphrodite: Kay, jeez

Erik: nice one, babe

Aphrodite: go to hell

Erik: wuh? *confused*

.com

Bob: K, last spin…goes to….-dramatic pause-…Edward cullen. Oops wrong vampire…Darius

Darius: here goes…

-bottle spins and stops pointing at…Zoey and Nyx-

Bob: Zoey I'm gonna have to break my promise for no lesbionicness to you.

Nyx: was it an oath

Bob: no….?

Nyx: that's fine then

Z: uhm…okay

-Z and Nyx have a quick smooch-

Kalona: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHA that was funny…

Erobus: the laughter doesn't hide your jealousy.

Kalona: am not jealous

Erobus: are to

Kalona: am not.

Bob: SHh….back to bed you lot.


	4. Chapter 4

Continued…

-Everyone gets into bed again-

Z: may I make a request?

Bob: urm…sure…

Z: make Kalona put his pants on.

Bob: aah…..NO

Z: why?

Bob: you know why –blushes-

Kalona: ahaha Bob has a mancrush on me

Bob: im a girl you nutjob

Kalona: oh yeah

Bob: ok ive had enough of this, EVERYONE move shuffle to the right till you push Kalona out of the bed.

Kalona: wuh…?

-everyone shuffles to the right, everyone who falls on the floor goes round and gets back in to help push-

Kalona:*falls on floor* that didn't hurt _at all_

Stark: that's what you get

Erobus: for wakin' up in vegas

Katy perry: get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now

Everyone: that's what you get for wakin up in vegas!

Bob: uhm…please stop singing…some of you sound like….erm….nevermind…mrs brand plz get lost.

-katy perry disappears in a puff of glitter-

Heath: I don't know why but I have this feeling that a unicorn or sumthin is going to appear any minute now…

Bob: the unicorn has been postponed

Erik: why?

Jack: I like rainbow unicorns

Damien: I like rainbow yous'

Bob: that didn't make sense….?

Jack: yes it did.

Damien: since when did I not make sense?

Bob: since five seconds ago.

Damien: 7*

Heath: nerd

Jack: he is not a nerd

Aphrodite: yes, yes he is

Z: heath, don't call jack a nerd, he's just died

Heath: anything for you, Z

Stark: please could you not flirt with my girlfriend

Heath: she was my girlfriend first

Stark: she loves me more

Heath: no she loves ME more

Z: shut up or I'll kick both of your butts.

Bob: actually she cant, but still, shut up

Nyx: she should be able to, I never took away her powers

Bob: yeh, but I did

Nyx: I guess that's fine with me, your world your rules

Bob: actually its just a fanfiction world, and I am an author, writing out your lives, and you are just petty pieces in my story, which will make people laugh, that is why, my friends, you are in a bed.

Erobus: naturally.

Heath: ?

Z: go die in a hole

Heath: ?

Z: not you, heath, I meant bob

Bob: thou shalt not die in a hole

Yet.

Erik: its all your fault.

Bob: of course it is

Erik: no, I meant Zoey

Z: what is all my fault?

Erik: it is all your fault that you exist and now we are here

Z: that was a very logical explanation

Rephaim: no it wasn't

Stevie-rae: she was bein' sarcastic, ya know?

Rephaim: oh…

Nyx: technically, it is zoeys fault

Erik: knew it

Z: Nyx, you are wiser in the books

Nyx: that's because the books weren't written by a teenage girl.

Kalona: of course

Erobus: yes. OF COURSE.

Bob: ok, enough of that. Time to play a little game I like to call…aaah hell where's my piece of paper. Brb.

Okay its time to play…7 minutes in heaven…my version…

Darius: wheres the cupboard? We need a cupboard!

Aphrodite: shh

-cupboard appears-

Heath: uhm ok well now we've got a cupboard

Bob: OKAY! Everyone pick a number between 1 and 15

Aphrodite: 1

Darius: 5

Heath: 3

Stevie rae: 4

Rephaim: 6

Z: 2

Nyx: 8

Erobus: 7

Kalona: 9

Erik: 10

Shaunee: 11

Erin: 12

Stark: im not playing

Bob: yes you are

Stark: 14

Jack: 13

Damien: 15

Bob: Okay I think that's all of you now…lets play –random number generator-

**Hahaha you'll have to wait till the next chapter to find out what happens :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Continued…

Bob: - random number generator- OK …number 7…that's…

Erobus: me…

Bob: and…1

Aphrodite: that's ..erm..me?

Bob: yes Now you two, get in the cupboard!

-The two get in a cupboard and 7 minutes later-

Erobus: well that was fun

Aphrodite: yeah, babe

Bob: okay next two are…13 and 10!

Erik: WUH! Im not gay you asstard

Aphrodite: that's my word

Erik: whatever

Damien: don't discriminate

Erik: disc-wut?

Jack: dumbass, just get in the cupboard

Erik: don't try anything

Twins: hahaha

-The pair gets in the cupboard-

Aphrodite: do you think Erik will finally come out?

Erik:-muffled- I heard that!

Nyx: Erik is not gay

Damien: phew

Nyx: at least I don't think so

Heath: ugh

Z: shh

-6.9 mins later-

Jack: well that was an…experience

Erik: yeah…

Bob: as intended… OKAY next pair is…12 and 14!

Damien: are* not is

Z: uhm that's stark

Stark: yes, that's me

Erin: and me

Shaunee: go get him, twin

Erin: im not so sure, twin

Shaunee: it'll be okay, twin

Erin: okay, twin

Shaunee: have fun, twin

Erin: oh I will, twin

Bob: stop ending your sentences with ,twin and just go.

-Erin and stark get in the cupboard-

Z: awkward turtle

Nyx: yes…

-the cupboard starts shaking around-

Bob: I better bolt the door in case they fall out

Shaunee: ooh that's the hot stuff

Kalona: im bored now

Bob: would you rather I fed you to the tigers?

Kalona: yes.

Bob: well it's not happening. So shh

Kalona: ugh…just get on with it

Bob: you just wait till your up, you never know who your gonna be with…

-later-

Erin: uhh that was quite..enjoyable

Stark: Zoey I promise that didn't count on cheating with you, you know I love you.

Z: of course you do…

Nyx/Erobus: he does

Bob: anyway…next up…is number 2 and 9…oo err okay…

Kalona: wow

Z: you did that on purpose didn't you?

Bob: no, actually I used a random number generator and it just…happened…so get in the cupboard

-Kalona and Zoey in the cupboard-

Bob: that was the number generators fault, not mine

Nyx: I agree

Heath/stark: awkward

:inside the cupboard:

Kalona: hello

Z: uhh

Kalona: come here Zoey, no need to be afraid

Zoey: - felt the need to go into Kalona's arms, and let him hold her in his eternal embrace, so she did-

-LONG AND DEEP KISSING FROM THE FALLEN ANGEL AND THE VAMPYRE-

-this scene was removed due to mature adult content- (aka ill leave it up to your imaginations)

-7 mins later-

Bob: come out now

-no response-

Bob: YOU CAN COME OUT NOW

-the couple exit-

Z/Kalona: *no comment*

Bob:…moving on swiftly…the next and final pair because I cant be bothered are…4 and 8 LOL

Nyx: come on Stevie rae, I wont hurt you.

Aphrodite: she sounds like a paedophile

Erobus: she is

Nyx: -glare-

Erobus: JOKING

-nyx and Stevie rae enter the cupboard-

Darius: why is the cupboard glowing

Erobus: erm

Stark: that's odd

Rephaim: the goddess has enchanted my lady

Heath: that's one way to put it

Twins: or you could just say that Stevie Rae has some sexual orientation issues

Rephaim: OR she just loves the goddess

Kalona: I love her MORE

Z: we know you do, babe

Stark: don't call him babe

-7 mins later-

Bob: OUT

-they exit the cupboard and it suddenly disappears-

Bob: back in bed and prepare for the next chapter…mwahahahahahaha


	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome to chapter 6. If anyone wants to request a guest to come in for a bit they can **

Bob: NEFERET

Neferet: yes

Bob: nothing

Neferet: okay…

White bull: moo

Black bull: moo!

Bob: be gone moo cows!

-bulls disappear-

Nyx: what was that all about?

Bob: no…idea…

Z: what other sadistic games are you going to make us play now?

Kalona: I wouldn't call them sadistic

Erobus: that is because you ARE sadistic

Kalona: am not

Nyx: you never know

Z: yeh but nyx, YOU DO KNOW

Nyx: oh yeah, but im not telling

Stark: why?

Nyx/Erobus: never ask a god – why? Asstard

Aphrodite: would everyone stop stealing MY freaking word

Bob: yeah stop stealing aphrodicks word!

Aphrodite: aphrodick?

Erik: YEAH

Bob: yes, aphrodick

Aphrodick: anything but aphrodick

Bob: fine then, asstard

Aphrodick: ugh...hey! I said no more aphrodick!

Nyx: you did

Bob: finnee

Aphrodite: that's better

Bob: moving onwards and upwards

Damien: you don't say it like that

Bob: oh yeah? How do you say it then, Queen Damien?

Damien: just onwards and upwards or moving on

Bob: I knew that…

Jack: of course you did

Abigail: YO

Bob: ABIGAIL HI

Stark: oh goddess no

Nyx: I agree

Abigail: I thought you said there would be unicorns?

Bob: yeah well, give me a minute

Heath: KNEW IT

Bob: no you didn't

Stark: he did say so before

Z: yes he did

Bob: yes, but he wasn't expecting this:

-Lady gaga rides in on a gay unicorn-

Jack/Damien: A GAY UNICORN

Everyone else other then bob: LADY GAGA :O

Lady gaga: follow that unicorn on the road to love!

Everyone: woo!

Dr. who: Im coming for you, gaga!

Gaga: aa! O well! BYE GUYS –lady gaga gallops off on her unicorn, followed by -

Abigail: I LOVE YOU DOCTOR

…

Heath: you were right; I was not expecting that…

Z: I don't think anyone was

Bob: Hey, Kalona, someone told me to send you to hell so…you know how you said you want to go to the tiger pit thing?

Kalona: erm…

ABIGAIL: NO

Bob: UGH fine but it was gonna be fun, instead, Kalona u r doomed to spend the rest of the chapter with no lines and ure head under the covers. GO.

Kalona: ooer okay

Bob: I just said no more lines for you. Shh.

ABIGAIL: lets play STRIP POKER

Bob: I don't know how

ABIGAIL: o

Bob: oo I know. Do ya'll know how to play snakes and ladders?

EVERYONE: yes

Bob: strip snakes and ladders – an attempt to get you all naked

Z: Kalona would say that's already done but he's not allowed to speak.

Bob: that's why he isn't playing

Z: oh

Stark: this should be um…I don't know but I hope I win

Bob: -sets up board- only seven of you are playing cos other wise the game would be long, here are your colours:

Zoey- red

Nyx-orange

Erobus- yellow

Rephaim- green

Neferet-blue

Erik- indigo

Bob: erm

ABIGAIL: stark! PHWOOOARR

Bob: ok…

Stark-violet

Stark: why me? And why pink?

Z: its actually violet

Bob: LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

First up – z

She rolls

IT'S A LADDER! Bob: Zoey TAKE OFF YOUR BRA!

Z: erm…-takes off bra-

Stark: why is the ladder the stripping bit?

Bob: cos then you have to be naked when you finish

Stark: why couldn't we just strip?

ABIGAIL: cos that would be boring, duhh

Nyx: okay…*rolls dice*

-nothing-

(because this is so obviously going to take too long)

Bob: OH FUCK THIS! More boring then just stripping okay! So erm…ABIGAIL what should we make them do?

Zoey: can I put my bra back on?

ABIGAIL: no

Bob: abi what should they do

ABIGAIL: praise jesus

Nyx: that is unnecessary

Erobus: I hate to break it to you but…

ABIGAIL: DON'T SAY IT

Erobus: I like lemons! Jeez

Nyx: really? You've never told me that

Erobus: you just don't listen

Bob: OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH DOMESTIC… Abigail what should they do

Abigail: just strip I cba thinking

Bob: YOU HEARD HER. STRIP. GO GO GO.

Neferet: ugh

Stark: is that all you can say?

Neferet: ugh

Twins: your worse then us.

Neferet: ugh

Nyx: Neferet, go to hell

Neferet: this is hell, and you lot are my eternal punishment

Bob: untrue much

Erobus: oh yeah?

Bob: yeah, you all get to go back in November

Nyx: pfft

Z: why?

ABIGAIL: COS THAT'S WHEN DESTINED COMES OUT

All HoN characters: OH

Bob: well this was fun…everyone go to sleep the suns about to rise…

TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER ADIOS AMIGOS


	7. Chapter 7mini chapter

Bob: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP !

(!)

Everyone: wuh…why….?

Bob: IM BORED

ABIGAIL: so am i

Bob: so this is just gonna be a short chapter, isn't it?

Z: YES PLEASE

Bob: normally, I would make it long just to annoy you but…

MOTHER: BOB! ITS ALMOST BED TIME CMON! GO HAVE A SHOWER! ITS STILL SCHOOL TOMORROW!

Bob: MUM!

Mother: what?

Bob: shut up

-mother leaves-

Stark: what was that all about?

Bob: I told you this would be a short chapter.

Neferet: I was dreaming of dancing with darkness

Nyx: you would be.

Erobus: yes she would.

(MOTHER: CMON! IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT!)

Bob: erm I have to go now…BUT YOU LOT HAVE TO STAY.

ABIGAIL: don't make them go back to sleep then ill be bored…

Bob: okay, abi I will let you entertain yourself with them… but it will have to remain in the world of computer memory…

ABIGAIL: why?

Bob: because I said so.

Erik: erm…excuse me mr… I mean mrs. Bob, erm

Bob: yes?

Erik: please can I get a pet panda.

Bob: OKAY!

Erik: really!

Bob/ABIGAIL: NO.

Okay….NEXT CHAPTER!


	8. AUTHORS NOTE

AUTHORS NOTE

Annie, yes you can be in it and so can selena Gomez…

Ty guys for the gr8 reveiws

Abigail is not a HoN character, if you hadn't realised (shes my friend who asked to be in it)

That's all for now there will be a new chapter or two tomorrow (for those who are reading this on the day I wrote it)


	9. Chapter 8 the end is not nigh

Bob: did you all enjoy yourselves in ABIGAIL'S company?

Abigail: they did, didn't you?

Everyone: err….yes

Bob: of course, ok abi you can go now

Abigail: but…but…ugh I have to go

Bob: yes, you do, you can come back later though

Abigail: kay, bye

Everyone: byee

Z: hey, Bob, how come we haven't seen you yet.

Bob: because this is like SAW, I watch you and I tell you what to do, but I don't have to do a thing myself

Z: you might as well refer to yourself as jigsaw

Jigsaw: but then I would beat him up…

Bob: yeah so, shh

Annie: HEY I heard you were talking about saw! I LIKE CHAINSAWS

Bob: here, have one

Annie: YAY

Jack: im not so sure that's safe with her

Damien: im pretty certain that its not

Nyx/Erobus: well she can't hurt us

Kalona: or me

Annie: oh yeah!

Nyx/Erobus/Kalona: yeah…

Annie: *turns on electric chainsaw and moves towards Nyx* still sure about that?

Nyx: uhhmm...I erm…err...no?

Annie: I thought so

Bob: cos now your in my world, and here if you die, and I don't bring you back, you have to wait till November…

Neferet: ugh

Jack: yeah

Neferet: ugh

Stark: is she in shock or something

Kalona: she is just pretending…I know it

Neferet: ugh shut up

Dimitri Belikov: IM GAY

Jack/Damien/bob: SO GO AWAY

-Dimitri leaves-

Damien: what was that all about?

Bob: I just wanted to prove a point…

Nyx: about what?

Annie: that she can do anything…MWAHAHAHA

Erik: teehee

Aphrodite: urhm…are you SURE you aren't gay?

Erik: yesh

Annie: ERIK! YOUR TURN!

Erik: eek!

Selena Gomez: ANNIE NO

Annie: SELENA GO-!

-Annie approaches selena with the chainsaw-

Erik: phew

-A PORTAL APPEARS IN A TOILET-

Annie: -grabs selena and throws her in the portal then jumping in herself- THIS IS GOING TO BE TOO VIOLENT AND SICK FOR BEING RATED AS SUGGESTIVE, SO I'LL BRB!

Bob: aww…I wanted to watch that

Justin beiber: hey, anyone seen my girlfriend?

Stark: fuck off, gay boy

Bob: he isn't gay

Heath: YEAH, he just fell off the ladder on his way to puberty

Kalona: ahahaha nice one

Z: he is not gay

Bob: he's gone…ANYWAY so…BIG BROTHER

Big brother: what?

Bob: take over for the rest of the chapter will you, I wanna go see whats happening inside that toilet to that Disney biatch…you know the rules…

BB: kk

-Bob jumps into another toilet *hear flushing noises*-

BB: 17:46 and everyone is in bed

Z: well this oughta be fun

Rephaim: was that more sar cas m

Stevie rae: yeah

Twins: its so cute that Rephaim doesn't understand sarcasm

BB: 17:47 and Zoey, Rephaim, Stevie and the twins are having a pleasant conversation.

-a note floats down onto the bed-

Kalona: -grabs- one of you needs to confess to the big eye in that room over there-points at door that has just appeared-

Stark: I'll go

Zoey:*in a really country accent* MY HERO!

Aphrodick: that was worse then the country bumpkin

Aphrodite: HEY WHATS WITH THE…OH RIGHT

-stark goes into the room-

Rephaim: enjoy

-inside of the room-

Stark: yo

BB: hello, stark

Stark: so…

BB: how. Was. Your. Day.

Stark: odd… I seem to be naked…and ive just been playing makeovers with Abigail…she said that if enough reviewers ask, Bob will allow the readers to read about what happened…I've been awake a very long time…I must find away out of this shit hole without dieing…hmm…

BB: there is no way out unless bob orders you to leave…and now you know that wont happen…Bob likes proving points and being stubborn. But I wont say anything more about bob because I know she is reading this as we speak…The only way out, stark, is to either die or wait until November…but you might just be summoned again after that…and then you would have to wait till the next book is out….Or bob gets bored…anyway…goodbye stark

-stark leaves-

Heath: how was it?

Z: yeah, ma hero

Stark: I am not allowed to say.

Kalona: ugh

Neferet: ugh

Nyx/Erobus: you two…ugh

Z: ugh

Sgiach: all right…this isn't Wimbledon –leaves-

Heath: -grunts-

Seoras: I think he did that to illustrate the point –leaves-

Stark: hey, how come they get to leave?

Twins: yeah!

BB: because Bob said they could…

Nyx: Bob seems all powerful

Kalona: not as all powerful as I would be here if we were just allowed our powers

Z: Kalona, you would have already been outside, burning in flames, consumed in the elements, if we were allowed our powers

Kalona: nuh-uh

Erik: see now Kalona even sounds gay

Aphrodite: Erik you are obviously gay

Kurt hummel/jack/Damien: DON'T DISCRIMINATE

Neferet: ooh I like glee(!)

Erobus: shh

BB: okay, its time for the readers/viewers to vote! WHO WILL BE ELIMINATED!

Bob: no one…

BB: you are back…erm

Bob: don't even try eliminating one of these, the only way you will get out is if I tell you to…Annie will be back later she was clearing up selena…

Nyx: clearing…her…up…?

Bob: yeah, you don't wanna know

Twins: no, we don't

Renesmee cullen: PEEKA…

Zoey was jolted out of her sleep, it was all a dream! Phew…no…wait…she was still in a bed only…yes…the walls were green…this was like nightmare on elm street. She looked around and saw she was not alone, the others who she had shared the dream with were there. The bed was smaller this time, their naked bodies squished together. Everyone was speechless but…

Bob: BOO!

Everyone: WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

Bob: I wanted a change of scenery…so we moved to the best place I could find with green walls…

Stark: of course

Heath: this is like inception meets nightmare on elm street

Jigsaw: meets saw

Bob: yeah, but you are awake…

Nyx: are you SURE about that?

Bob: technically no, because you are fictional characters but you are pretty much awake… I think…

**Don't worry this is not the end…but will we ever find out if they are AWAKE or ASLEEP? Mwahahahaha…**

**Remember, if you wanna know what happens in the make over session just ask! (must have 5 people who want it before I write it :) )**


	10. Chapter 9

**Had writers block for ages now…this is all I could think of:**

Later on…

Annie- im back!

Z: o goody

Annie: can I kill stark now?

Z: NO

Stark: N O no!

Erik: I thought stark was dead?

Aphrodite: yes of course he is dead, that is why he is SPEAKING TO US RIGHT NOW.

Erik: thanks for agreeing with me

Rephaim: was that sarcasm again?

Stevie rae: yeah

Heath: I have a feeling that…

Bob: SHH

Annie: so, can I kill stark?

Bob: hmm… if u promise not to do it with the chainsaw?

Annie: aww

Stark: WUH!

Z: do. Not. Touch. My. Man.

Bob: yeah? What are you gonna do about it?

Z: erm…

Nyx: kick ass

Annie: with what? Bob took her powers

Bob: and yours, nyx so don't even think about it.

Nyx: heyy…you cant do that!

Bob: just did.

Erobus: what about me?

Annie: you as well.

Twins: oh_ hell_ no.

Heath: now youre all human

Bob: -ish

Annie: like Aphrodick

Aphrodite: I though we said no more Aphrodick

Annie: did we? I don't remember that

Erik: neither do I, babe

Bob: lets play a role playing game

Heath: whut?

Bob: a role playing game! Lets all pretend to be people from the house of night!

Z: erm… that's already done…

Bob: I know I was just messin with ya.

Annie: I wanna kill stark

Bob: can it wait till the next chapter?

Annie: NO

Stark: yes it can?

Z: YES. IT. CAN.

Annie: NO. IT. CANT.

Bob: go ahead

Stark: aaaaah

Bob: don't worry stark, you can come back soon.

Kalona: can I speak yet?

Aphrodite: well, what does it look like your doing?

Kalona: speaking

Bob: idiot

Erik: I KNOW, BABES

Aphrodite: Erik, go fuck yourself?

Erik: I would if I could.

Zoey: ew

Bob: Charrlieeeeeeee… Charliieeeeeee….

Charlietheunicorn: WAT IM RIGHT HERE?

Bob: we're in a fancfiction, Charlie…

Erik: oh em gee I love Charlie the unicorn.

Aphrodite: oh em gee SHUT UP

Jack: my gaydar is telling me that Erik is gay.

Aphrodite: see, you are gay.

Annie: knew it

Kalona: haha

Bob: hey, hey, guys!

Nyx: yeah…?

Bob: shh I was talking to guys

Guys: hey. Man

Bob: girl

Guys: bye

Everyone: bye, guys

Bob: lets play a game…

Everyone else other then annie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

….

**Guys, what game should they play?**

**Btw Charlie the unicorn is not mine, he is SecretAgentBob's**


	11. Chapter 10 SORRYIKEPTFORGETTINGABOUTTHIS

**Sorry I took so long to write this chapter! forgive me? :)**

Stark: well, what game, please don't tell me it involves me being in pain

Bob: it involves you being in pain

Annie: yesss!

Bob: and everyone else other then us

Erobus: Im cool, can I be part of 'us'

Bob: no

Erik: ooh, re-ject-ed

Aphrodite: ooh. Dick-head

Bob: ooh shut – up

Annie: I want to play the game

Bob: lets play…I have never…

Stark: help(!)

Heath: hehe you put the ! in brackets

Bob: so…?

Zoey: heath gets very low grades in English

Heath: oi

Zoey: its true

Heath: I no

Zoey: see…

Heath: I did that on purpose

Zoey: of course you did

Bob: FIRST PERSON TO TALK GETS SOMETHING

Erik: oo

Aphrodite: me!...awww…

Bob: Erik

Erik: yeah?

Bob: you get… to go first

Aphrodite: phew

Erik: okay! Hmm…I have never kissed a boy

Bob: just saying, in this version of the game, everyone who has also never done what they say has to do it (except for the one who says it)…

Stark: oh…

Bob: go for it – annie, who should be the first pair?

Annie: stark and…my butt

Bob: your butt is not a boy

Annie: I know, I meant Kalona

Bob: how is Kalona like your butt?

Annie: I had an explanation in my head

Bob: go on…

Annie: but I forgot it

Kalona: I'm not sure I wanted to hear it anyway

Damien: how long till we get this break you speak of?

Jack: its so cute when you speak like that

Bob: 72 days exactly…

Kramisha: owch…

Annie: yeah!

Bob: stark, don't think you can get away with it by pretending your not here. You have something to do for our entertainment.

Annie: yeah

Kalona: WAIT. I can't believe I have to tell you this but, I have kissed a boy before…

Stark: erm…..so…have…i….?

Aphrodite: WTF. Gross

Erik: gaayy boyy s

Aphrodite: yeah, you can talk

Erik: I can, look – blah blah blah

Stark: it was just a phase…

Zoey: that's what they all say

Jack: I think we have some more team members. Yay!

Kalona: I am not in your 'team'

Stark: neither am I, I hate to say it but, I am on Kalona's team…even though I hate the guy

Kalona: not a guy…

Erobus: he is not a guy

Nyx: I think they know

Erik: know what?

Heath: that you are dumb, erik

Erik: *kiddy voice* im a twacker!

Zoey: last time I saw you, you were quite upset about it

Erik: I know

Nyx: I know you know

Erobus: I know you know he knows she knows…maybe…I think that's what I was supposed to say.

Annie: well, who has never kissed a boy?

Erobus: me…

Heath: me…

Rephaim: me…

Darius: do I have to say?

Bob: yes

Darius: me…

Annie: is that all?

Bob: I think so

Zoey: wow…makes you wander

Annie: okay! Erobus and darius, heath and Rephaim and...thats it I guess

Bob: go for it boys!

-smooching-

Aphrodite: ew.

Zoey: I have to agree

Justin beiber: I wish I could join in now

Stark: aha! Told. You. So.

Annie: uhh…..-denial-

Bob: -laughs-

Bob: WHO'S NEXT?

Kalona: me?

Bob: okay…

Kalona: I have never…worn my underpants on my head

Bob: this should be good.

Annie: who's never worn their underpants on their heads?

-everyone apart from heath,Kalona,annie,bob, darius-: me…

Zoey: HEATH what would possess you to put your underpants on your head..?

Heath: you know I went to a lot of parties…

Zoey: ugh

Aphrodite: DARIUS! Why!

Darius: a night out with the guys sometimes ends with us with our under pants on our heads.

Aphrodite: gross. Images. Lovely.

Rephaim: you think its lovely?

Stevie-rae: sarcasm… HOW LONG TILL YOU GET THE HANG OF THIS?

Rephaim: sorry…

Bob: okay! Get your panties on your head…ies…yeah go for it

-everyone not mentioned earlier: -pants on heads-

Annie: this is quite funny

Bob: it most definitely is

Zoey: can we take our pants off now?

Bob: okay you can take your pants off now…

Aphrodite: thanks

-pants off heads-

Bob: okay one more round because I think I just pulled a muscle

Annie: doing what?

Bob: warming my feet…don't ask…short story…

Annie: okay…

Bob: who's lucky number is 5?

Zoey: mine…

Bob: well that's my unlucky number but you can go first anyway

Zoey: okay. I have never…escaped from this hell-hole

Bob: don't. even. Think. About. It. You have one more chance. You can't fool me.

Zoey: fine…hmmph..i have never…killed a girl pretending to be a boy who kidnaps people

Bob: not happening.

Annie: I think Aphrodite should have a turn.

Aphrodite: okay.

Bob: go for it

Aphrodite: I have never….massaged an immortal

Bob: that's a weird one…

Zoey: nonononononononono… I know what you were thinking and that is sooo mean

Aphrodick: well, you know me!

Aphrodick: oi!

Aphrodick: OI STOP IT

Aphrodick: that is not my name

Bob: it is now. Until you are nice…r..again

Aphrodick: ugh…

Bob: okay well, I think I realise what Aphrodite was thinking so…have any of you immortals massaged another you know

Nyx/erobus: we have

Kalona: shit. No.

Bob: okay well, Zoey and Rephaim can massage Kalona, everyone else can choose between nyx and Erobus, one at a time. Each immortal gets a 30 second massage and Kalona has to do Erobus. No choking each other, that is not a massage and I can tell the difference. Go go go!

Rephaim: actually, I have massaged an immortal

Neferet: so have i

Zoey: gross, I don't want to know about that…

Bob: GET TO MASSAGING.

-massaging-


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay guys so sorry i haven't updated in like...a year...i just sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of an excuse and i have none so i guess we'll both just have to live with it. ANYWAY, moving on...:**

-After they finished massaging-  
>Bob: okay great so i guess that was...sexy...maybe<br>Kalona: It soo was - wasn't it zoey?  
>Zoey: NO<br>ErEbus: Actually kalona that was quite relaxing  
>Kalona: yeah, i've been working out<br>Nyx: hmmm...  
>Bob: Okay so ive decided i want to know something<br>Aphrodick: what now?!  
>Aphrodick: hey!<br>Stevie Rae: Aphrodick theres no point complaining its not going to help  
>Aphrodick: Butttt<br>Bob: No butttts.  
>Damien: What is it you wanted to know?<br>Bob; Oh yeah, i wanted to know how many of you were team edward or jacob or switzerland  
>Zoey: I'll tell you if you tell us<br>Bob: Haha it doesn't work that way  
>Damien: well i for one am team Edward<br>Jack: Me too  
>Shauneerin: Jacob!<br>Shauneerin: Wuh - why are we the same person now?  
>Bob: you were going to say the same thing anyway so this just saves me the bother of listening to you both.<br>Shauneerin: Great  
>Kalona: I have no idea what you're talking about so i'm just going for switzerland because i hear that ones a country now.<br>Nyx: Me and Erebus are both team jacob!  
>Aphrodite: Edward...<br>Darius: Erm...switzerland...?  
>Erik: Ew even im not gonna answer that question<br>Bob: -scary face- ANSWER IT  
>Erik: eek! okay...edward...<br>Stark: zoey?  
>Zoey: We'll be team jacob right?<br>Stark: yeah, sure i guess...  
>Bob: Ok well thats everyone and if you haven't had a go then you're clearly not important enough k.<p>

**AN: Annie i wasn't sure whose team you're on so i left you.**  
><strong>Ok guys so thats it for now, hopefully i'll be able to update again soon + Hidden is out in 22 days (woo!)<strong>  
><strong>PS: Dear KShade &amp; 6 friends: that scene was for you're imagination, so think of the most amazing, sexy, hot make-out scene you can think of, or if you get all those 6 friends to ask i'll write you a propper one ;)<strong>


	13. Chapter 13 - the kissing scene

**A/N wow i'm so sorry its taken me about 120482309423 years to update and I meant to write this months ago so I guess I really should stop procrastinating – pls enjoy dis, because, as promised, I wrote the *deleted* scene – as requested :**

-In the cupboard-

"Come here Zoey," he beckoned her closer, "there's no need to be afraid"

Zoey leant into him and tilted her head back slightly, he cupped her face and leaned in slowly, giving her time to pull away. She didn't and he closed the small space between them and crushed his lips against hers, at the same time he slowly wrapped his raven wings around her, enclosing them in an angelic embrace. He groaned deep in his throat and ran his tongue along her lower lip. She parted her lips slightly and gasped silently as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Kalona deepened the kiss and shoved Zoey gently against the inner wall of the cupboard. She ran her hands up and down his back then knotted them in his dark hair, forcing him to move even closer and deepen the kiss further, until she had to pull away for air. Zoey breathed heavily against the fallen God, as he gently retracted his wings a little, carefully – as there was very little space in the cupboard. Kalona lifted his hand and gently caressed the side of her face. She leaned into his touch and shivered slightly, remembering their last kiss.

"COME OUT NOW" they heard from the room outside their dark space. Zoey lifted her lips to kalona's one last time and kissed him passionately before they parted and exited the cupboard in single file, looking away from the others awkwardly.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that, sorry you've waited so long for something so short! I will try my best to update faster! Expect the next chapter to be up soon.**


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